Certified Life Coach.org & Coach - Relationship Advice: How To Effectively Get What Y...

Eleanor had a problem on her hands. With three young children all requiring lots of help and attention to get ready for school in the morning, and a husband who seemed more interested in taking care of himself than in helping her, the resentment was building to a dangerous boiling point.

If she had been pressed, she would have had to acknowledge that there were some mornings where he did offer to help without needing to be asked, but she was mad that she ever had to ask. After all, she figured, you?d have to be BLIND or STUPID not to see the chaos and overwhelm she was dealing with every day. So, many mornings, in addition to three breakfasts, three lunches to pack, numerous temper tantrums as shoes or clothes didn?t fit right, someone?s homework to find, she was also packing a pretty hefty load of anger and frustration.

She is making things harder for herself than they need to be, and with three young kids, she certainly doesn?t need to be doing that! There are times he does help on his own, and when he is asked he will help. In fact, it seems like the only reason he doesn?t help at certain times is because, rather than ask, she?d rather scream, bitch or sulk.

In my years of coaching women, I?ve seen a common issue: the belief or attitude that: ?if he (boyfriend/husband) were really a (good/loving/thoughtful/aware/ mature - insert your favorite one here) man, I wouldn?t have to ask!? This attitude causes a lot of trouble in relationships between men and women. Let me give it to you straight and simple:

Men need to know what we want. They can?t read our minds. They want to know what the right path is to success, so that they don?t risk failure (a very bad thing for a man to experience).

Think of it this way: I?m guessing you probably don?t need to think twice about taking out a map when you?re driving somewhere you don?t know how to get to. Well, this is just like that for men...they need the map. I know, you?re probably saying ?but this is the same thing all the time ? can?t I just tell him once and then it?s DONE?? That brings us to the next point about men.

It is a well-documented fact that men?s and women?s brains function differently. Men are ?mono-tracking?, as compared to us being ?multi-tracking?. So, even though you?re fuming at his seeming disregard for the most obvious chaos going on around him (and your crystal-clear need for his help ? which ANYONE alive would see!), I will bet you that he isn?t even aware of it. He?s off in another world, solving this or that problem in his head. You?ll be much happier if you just give him the benefit of the doubt, assume he wants to help, and just ask.

The other thing that doesn?t work for Eleanor is the fact that she?s choosing to suffer and feel bitchy, rather than ask for help. Could it be that there is some part of her that feels more comfortable being resentful and/or bitchy?

I?ve certainly seen plenty of women over the years that have felt so resistant to intimacy and vulnerability (most often not very consciously) that things get set up in a relationship to keep the distance (which resentment certainly provides!).

If that is going on for you, please figure out how to stop that habit - quickly. Whatever pain from our past causes this behavior, we have more productive ways to get what we really need than to drive a wedge between us and our men.

We all want to feel loved, accepted, and respected in our relationships. It?s important to remember that men really are different, and need to be asked for what we want from them (respectfully, of course) rather than our expecting them to ?know? what we need. When we do that, we can trust that the way we are relating with each other allows us to feel valued for exactly who we are. And isn?t that a whole lot better than bitching?

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Economic Growth Continues - More Than 5.3 Million Jobs Created Since August 2003
On June 2, 2006, The Government Released New Jobs Figures – 75,000 Jobs Created In May. The economy has created about 1.9 million jobs over the past 12 months – and more than 5.3 million since August 2003. The unemployment rate fell to 4.6 percent – lower than the average of the 1960s, 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s.

Revised Report Shows Fastest Real GDP Growth In Two-And-A-Half Years. Real GDP grew at an annual rate of 5.3 percent for the first quarter of this year. This follows our economic growth of 3.5 percent in 2005 – the fastest rate of any major industrialized nation.

Productivity Increased At A Strong Annual Rate Of 3.7 Percent In The First Quarter.

Real Hourly Compensation Rose At A 3.2 Percent Annual Rate In The First Quarter.

Personal Income Increased At An Annual Rate Of 6.7 Percent In April. Since January 2001, real after-tax income has risen by 12.9 percent, or 7.3 percent per person.

Real Consumer Spending Increased At An Annual Rate Of 5.2 Percent In The First Quarter.

Employment Increased In 47 States Over The Past 12 Months Ending In April. Nonfarm payroll employment increased in 41 states in April.

Industrial Production Increased 4.7 Percent Over The Past 12 Months. Over the past 12 months, manufacturing production has increased by 5.5 percent.

This Week, President Bush Nominated Henry Paulson As Treasury Secretary. Paulson has an intimate knowledge of financial markets and an ability to explain economic issues in clear terms. For the past eight years, Paulson has served as Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of the Goldman Sachs Group, one of the most respected firms on Wall Street.

The President Has Expanded Tax Relief And Is Working To Make His Tax Relief Permanent. Two weeks ago, President Bush signed into law a bill that extends the tax cuts on dividends and capital gains. This legislation also contains an Alternative Minimum Tax (AMT) patch enabling millions of middle-income families to avoid paying higher taxes in 2006.

The President’s Tax Relief Has Helped Spur Growth By Keeping $880 Billion In The Pockets Of American Taxpayers. The Administration reduced taxes for every American who pays income taxes, doubled the child tax credit, reduced the marriage penalty, created investment incentives for small businesses, and put the death tax on the road to extinction.

Growing The Economy And Reducing The Deficit Depend On Controlling The Spending Appetite Of The Federal Government. Every year since the President took office, the Administration has slowed the growth of discretionary spending that is not related to the military or homeland security. The President's last two budgets cut discretionary spending that was unrelated to the military or homeland security, and we are on track to cut the deficit in half by 2009.

If The Emergency Supplemental Bill – Which The President Has Requested To Help Fund The War On Terror And Hurricane Recovery – Includes Non-Emergency Or Wasteful Spending Or Exceeds The President's Set Limit Of $92.2 Billion Plus Funding To Prepare Our Nation For A Pandemic Flu Emergency, He Will Veto It.

In The Long Run, The Biggest Challenge To Our Nation's Budgetary Health Is Entitlement Spending On Programs Such As Social Security And Medicare. We call on members of both parties to join us in a bipartisan commission to address this critical issue.

The President Will Continue Working With Congress To Restrain Spending In Other Ways, Including Passing A Line-Item Veto. A line-item veto would allow us to cut needless spending, reduce the budget deficit, and ensure that every taxpayer dollar is spent wisely – or not at all.

Relationship Advice: How To Effectively Get What You Need From Your Man